You love me, forever and always

It's been a while i haven't write in this blog, i rather call it as my diary.
It's been 34 years i'm living in this earth this year.
I admit that i just go on my life like a river flow.
It's a sad thing for those who really determine and sometimes kind of ambitious with their life.

For them, a kind of person like me, has no spirit of life and just wasting time.
I admit that i've been confused by the doctrine of so many thoughts, that represent universality, new age, exclusivity, majority and minority.
I admit that i've been experienced unpleasant social relationship.
I admit that it's saver in comfort zone.
I admit that motivation stories inspire me at the level of thought and feeling.

They've ever moved my mountain but not long.
Have i ever been sad, dissapointed, angry with my self?
Many times and i get stuck and numb, cause i don't know what to do.
In the other side i can support others and ease their minds.

When i see people cannot manage their anger, patience, empathy, etc., it's like i'm looking at my self.

I think i can a little bit figure out why i'm in this kind of situation, so that i can be my self and cultivate my strength and control my weakness.

I know that nothing impossible in God's hand and power and mercy.
To accept those with unbearable faith is an unending learning process that i, you an all of us has to carry until death do us appart our body and spirit.

God help me to more than humble to let You work in my life.
How many more years do i have, my Love.
I owe You more than life.

You never leave me.
You always there to hold me.
Still i deserve Your love?